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If I had a dollar every time the Indian version of the Nigerian Scammer made a blatantly-false claim like this, I would buy a GSA license and cut out the middle man:

Chillary and Black Hitler Travel Back in Time to Shit on Thomas Jefferson's Grave KILLER Social Signal Networks Package


Social Signals are key to how the most popular websites online today rank.

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Some Fucking Retard in Your Spam Folder,

Online Marketing Executive, Who "Has Employees" and Makes Executive Decisions

Mother Fuckers: Social signals are not a thing. A rudimentary understanding of how the Page Rank algorithm works unambiguously explains how "social signals" make your site rank better: They don't fucking do anything; ranking improvements associated with them are entirely because:

  • They cause social media websites to adjust their internal link structure in ways that can be favorable and
  • They create additional/duplicate/"duplicate" links elsewhere on the social media website

Do you really think that mother fucking Google is sitting around using some other company's proprietary data as part of their ranking algorithm?

If you are an "SEO consultant" who doesn't understand basic link building concepts, look at this cocksucking image and then read the rest of this article:

Page Rank Algorithm Explained - Public Domain Image from Wikipedia

Image caption, pulled from the user 345Kai on Wikipedia:

Mathematical PageRanks for a simple network, expressed as percentages. (Google uses a logarithmic scale.) Page C has a higher PageRank than Page E, even though there are fewer links to C; the one link to C comes from an important page and hence is of high value. If web surfers who start on a random page have an 85% likelihood of choosing a random link from the page they are currently visiting, and a 15% likelihood of jumping to a page chosen at random from the entire web, they will reach Page E 8.1% of the time. (The 15% likelihood of jumping to an arbitrary page corresponds to a damping factor of 85%.) Without damping, all web surfers would eventually end up on Pages A, B, or C, and all other pages would have PageRank zero. In the presence of damping, Page A effectively links to all pages in the web, even though it has no outgoing links of its own.

Source:  https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/PageRank#/media/File:PageRanks-Example.jpg

How "Claps" on Medium Impact SEO

    "Social Signals" are Fucking Bullshit

    If some asshole tells you that social signals are a thing (that isn't an obviously extrapolation of link data), tell them to fucking kill themselves. 

    The idea that having more followers on Twitter, Uprons on RonPaulFanclub.us, or Companions on Neopets will somehow inherently raise your website's rankings in search engines is fucking bullshit and I will literally send a guacamole bowl to anyone who can prove otherwise.

    Internal Linking

    Are you still reading this fucking article? Do I have to spell this shit out for you, you fucking troglodyte?

    When a well known FetLife dominatrix favorites your shitty article on Best Cattle Prods Detroit, it makes that article rank better in search engines because:

    • Her profile probably has external backlinks pointing at it and
    • Now her "recent likes" page has an internal link to your garbage article and
    • Internal links pass authority

    Search engines don't give a fuck about some literal whore clicking a heart icon. This shit is all built into the mother fucking algorithm. 

    If you submit a link on reddit.com/r/toasters and that link shows on all of these pages:

    Those are five separate links. As you know, five is more than one. Also, a link from the homepage of Reddit is clearly more powerful than a link from /r/toasters/new.

    If Ben Shapiro retweets your tweet, a link to webpage is now on his profile. And Ben Shapiro's Twitter profile probably has more backlinks pointing to it than your shitty profile. There's one right now. Someone tell Ben Shapiro to send me money, or at least a Leftist Tears tumbler.

    Jeb Bush: 'Check out some nice toasters at the museum: https://www.nicetoasters.museum

    Fucking no. Different URLs are different pages, unless the bot analyzing them groups them together with magic computers.

    I mean, Majestic once counted a blog comment that I left on Brian "Reasonably Good Guru Blog" Dean's guru blog as over 200,000 unique links because their bot failed to understand that these infinite variations of GET variables in these two URLs are the same page:

    While Google, Ahrefs, Bing, and so on are generally better at understanding that these are the same page, you obviously want to be on the better directory/profile/whatever pages, even if the some bots decide to then devalue (some or all of) the other shittier directory pages that the link is listed on.

    Implications for Parasites and Money Sites

    Money Sites

    When these two links are compared:

    • Reddit's Homepage --> NiceToasters.museum
    • /r/toasters       --> NiceToasters.museum

    Or these two links:

    • QualityDominatrix1981's Profile --> The article "Top Five Ways to Buy a Nice Cattle Prod In Detroit" on FetLife --> CheapCattleProdsDetroit.gay
    • Fucking Nothing                 --> The article "Top Five Ways to Buy a Nice Cattle Prod In Detroit" on FetLife --> CheapCattleProdsDetroit.gay

    It is clear that–in both sets–the first one provides more authority to a money site.


    No, I'm not talking about welfare recipients (because I am Jeb Bush and am too much of a pussy to blatantly call welfare recipients parasites), I am talking about my ex-wife parasite SEO.

    All of this shit is also useful for ranking parasite pages on social media websites, web 2.0 / blogging platforms, and so on (especially considering that most websites dofollow their internal links, even if external links are nofollowed). Do you want to leech off one of the many social media websites that skilled and dedicated professionals have spent billions of dollars building? Just fucking make a text post, blast the piss out of it with a vote bot, and rank that post in the SERPs by leveraging all of the internal links that are created.

    Claps on Medium

    Is This Article Actually About Claps on Medium?

    FUCK YOU! This article is a thinly veiled excuse to LARP as Jeb Bush. Do you actually think anyone has ever used Medium? Why the fuck would anyone write content then give it to Medium to profit off of? 

    And if you actually want information about Medium: Medium probably uses claps as part of their algorithm similarly to what is described above. If you actually use Medium, it should be obvious whether or not this is true. I would check, but that sounds hard.

    Or, read one of these articles, which may or may not be shitty:

    How can I get more claps?

    Do you want to shoehorn in a footnote about Reddit here?

    Yes: Upvotes on Reddit cause links to flip from nofollow to dofollow after a certain threshold. See the section "Are there viable alternatives to nofollowing user-gernerated links?" of this article:

    In Conclusion

    So here's my pledge to you. I will be a commander in chief that will have the back of the military.

    I will not trash talk. I will not be a divider in chief or an agitator in chief. I won’t be out there blowharding, talking a big game without backing it up. I think the next president needs to be a lot quieter, but send a signal that we’re prepared to act in the national security interests of this country–to get back in the business of creating a more peaceful world.

    Please clap.

    Users Who Have Downloaded More RAM:
    Huevos Rancheros (2 years ago)
    🐏 ⨉ 1
    Posted by Jeb Bush 2 years ago

    Edit History

    • [2019-01-25 3:03 PST] Jeb Bush (2 years ago)
    • [2019-01-25 3:03 PST] August R. Garcia (2 years ago)
    • [2019-01-25 3:03 PST] August R. Garcia (2 years ago)
    • [2019-01-25 3:03 PST] August R. Garcia (2 years ago)
    • [2019-01-25 3:03 PST] August R. Garcia (2 years ago)
    • [2019-01-25 3:03 PST] August R. Garcia (2 years ago)
    • [2019-01-25 3:03 PST] August R. Garcia (2 years ago)
    🕓 Posted at 25 January, 2019 03:03 AM PST

    Profile Photo - Jeb BushJeb Bush???FloridaAuthor

    Jeb "You're Not Going to Insult Your Way to the Presidency" Bush is the brother-in-law of former United States First Lady Laura Bush. He is known for achieving his multi-million dollar net worth by shilling for Jeff Bezos' guacamole bowls

    You can read more about Jeb on his website, unless he forgets to renew his registration.

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