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As described by the W3C:

The formats CSV [RFC4180] (comma separated values) and TSV [IANA-TSV] (tab separated values) provide simple, easy to process formats for the transmission of tabular data. They are supported as input datat formats to many tools, particularly spreadsheets.

Source: W3C Recommendation 21 March 2013

However, what the W3C neglected to mention is that Cuck Separated Values are inferior to the alpha-as-fuck TSV format. TSVs are good at literally everything, whereas CSVs are cancer. Here is a non-exhaustive list of reasons why this borderline self-apparent fact is the truth.


Shit was so Tab.

Hey Delimiter Separated Values,

My name is TSV, and I hate every single one of you. All of you are fat, retarded, no-lifes who spend every second of their day wrapping cells in stupid ass double quotes. You are everything bad in the world. Honestly, have any of you ever stored any correctly formatted data? I mean, I guess it's fun making fun of special characters because of your own insecurities, but you all take to a whole new level. This is even worse than storing data in Microsoft's proprietary XLS format.

Don't be a stranger. Just hit me with your best shot. I'm pretty much perfect. I was captain of this DuckDuckGo scraper, and starter on this YellowPages scraper. What scrapers do you store data for, other than "unparseable lists of contact information for naked drawn Japanese people"? I also get straight \T's, and have a banging hot girlfriend (She just blew me; Shit was SO cash). You are all faggots who should just kill yourselves. Thanks for listening.

Pic Related: It's me and my bitch

Copy-Pasting from Textareas

Imagine unironically uploading a file to a separate URL to include data with an article. Literally just put it in a tab-separated textarea.

The Data

File FormatSpecification FileSpecification File TitleAuthorPublication DateURL
The Virgin CSVInternet RFC 4180Common Format and MIME Type for Comma-Separated Values (CSV) FilesY. ShafranovichOctober 2005 https://www.ietf.org/rfc/rfc4180.txt
The Chad TSVIANA Media Type RegistrationDefinition of tab-separated-values (tsv)Paul LindnerJune 1993 https://www.iana.org/assignments/media-types/text/tab-separated-values

The Virgin CSV

You better reevaluate your career choices if you think you can just copy-paste this shit into a spreadsheet. 

The Chad TSV

HELL YEAH. CTRL+A --> CTRL+C --> CTRL+V into spreadsheet. Alpha as fuck.

Source Code

<!-- The Virgin CSV -->
<textarea style="width:100%;height:200px;resize:vertical;">File Format,Specification File,Specification File Title,Author,Publication Date,URL
The Virgin CSV,Internet RFC 4180,Common Format and MIME Type for Comma-Separated Values (CSV) Files,Y. Shafranovich,October 2005,https://www.ietf.org/rfc/rfc4180.txt
The Chad TSV,IANA Media Type Registration,Definition of tab-separated-values (tsv),Paul Lindner,June 1993,https://www.iana.org/assignments/media-types/text/tab-separated-values</textarea>

<!-- The Chad TSV -->
<textarea style="width:100%;height:200px;resize:vertical;">File Format	Specification File	Specification File Title	Author	Publication Date	URL
The Virgin CSV	Internet RFC 4180	Common Format and MIME Type for Comma-Separated Values (CSV) Files	Y. Shafranovich	October 2005	https://www.ietf.org/rfc/rfc4180.txt
The Chad TSV	IANA Media Type Registration	Definition of tab-separated-values (tsv)	Paul Lindner	June 1993	https://www.iana.org/assignments/media-types/text/tab-separated-values</textarea>

The Field Separator

The Virgin CSV

CSV files often don't even consist of comma separated values. They are also referred to as delimiter-separated values (DSV), where a delimiter is specified as some other character, such as a semicolon, colon, the pipe character, or something else entirely.

Imagine unironically using seventy different separators to prevent character conflicts.

The Chad TSV

Fucking tabs. What the fuck did you expect?

Handling Special Characters

Imagine that you want to put some data into a CSV or TSV. Consider the table below and imagine that these cells are instead pure text, split by commas/tabs.

NameNet Worth (USD)Favorite DirectoryFavorite Beverage
Smith, John6C:\Tab Cola
Johnson, Dwayne (AKA, "The Rock")6,000~/Downloads/Tab Cola
Kyle6,000,000Angie's ListTab Cola

The Virgin CSV

Now look at how this fucking data displays if it were comma-separated and then parsed as a CSV. Look at this shit:

NameNet Worth (USD)Favorite DirectoryFavorite Beverage   
SmithJohn6C:\Tab Cola  
JohnsonDwayne (AKAThe Rock6000~/Downloads/Tab Cola
Kyle6000000Angie's ListTab Cola 

What an absolute abomination. To get around, this, you'd need to use one of the following solutions:

  • Delete the delimiter characters (the commas), which causes lost data; or
  • Wrap the field in quotation marks (or other similar wrapper characters), which is also bullshit because then you have to fucking escape the quotation marks in the cell Johnson, Dwayne (AKA "The Rock").

Both of these methods are fucking bullshit. Also, some thread on Stack Exchange suggests that you can:

Escape the [delimiter] (usually pre-appending a backslash \).

E.g. Kalman\, Rudolf, von Neumann\, John, Gabor\, Dennis

While I've never seen this and couldn't find a CSV application that allows for delimiters to be escaped with a backslash, CSV standards are basically anarchy, so there's probably some piece of shit CSV application out there that would have made the example above include the cell "C:,Tab Cola" instead of splitting that cell.

The Chad TSV

If that data had been tab separated, it would look like this:

NameNet Worth (USD)Favorite DirectoryFavorite Beverage
Smith, John6C:\Tab Cola
Johnson, Dwayne (AKA, "The Rock")6,000~/Downloads/Tab Cola
Kyle6,000,000Angie's ListTab Cola

You know, exactly the same. Special characters don't exist. The probability that you need to work with data that actually includes tabs as part of a cell's value is fucking ZERO. 

But what if I want to include a tab within a TSV cell?

- Probably Someone

Then don't. And fuck you for even asking.

Cross-System Compatibility

The Virgin CSV

CSV is not a standard. Do you want to create a CSV file that works correctly across multiple systems?

What does foo;bar,baz;quux mean? What about foo,bar;baz,quux?

  • LibreOffice assumes it’s (Chinese) UTF-16 text, but after telling it the real encoding, both files contain 4 columns.
  • Microsoft Excel says one of the files contains 3 columns and the other contains 2 columns (which is which depends on locale)
  • Apple Numbers says the first file contains 3 columns and the other contains 2 columns if set to English, and both files contain 3 columns if set to Polish.

Source: CSV is not a standard

 It would probably be easier to just kill yourself.

The Chad TSV

Literally works everywhere.

Generating Report Files from Shell Scripts 

How to Pass Data into a SoySV from the BASH Terminal

As stated previously:

As you may know, a CSV file consists of comma separated values. This is true in the most literal way possible. Here's a thing you can do:

  • Open a text file (in Notepad, Gedit, or similar)
  • Copy paste the text below into the file:
    • one,two,three
    • four,five,six
  • Save the file as "data.txt"
  • Close the file
  • Change the filename to "data.csv"
  • Open the file again
  • Congratulations, that data is now in some cells

In case the implications are still unclear, this means that you can the result of arbitrary terminal outputs as CSV files easily provided that they are formatted correctly (cells split by commas and rows split by line breaks. Foe example: 

echo -e "one,two,three\nfour,five,six" > output.csv

Does exactly what you would expect (-e flag added so that the \n will be treated as a newline).

Source: The Basics to Web Scraping with cURL and XPath

Which is fine in that piece of example code, but trying to handle shit like escaping characters in the context of a BASH script is basically impossible bullshit.

Writing Directly to a TSV from the BASH Terminal

The same as the above, except all you have to do is:

  1. Trim leading and trailing whitespace; and
  2. Append a \t after each cell.

What an easy way to generate miscellaneous reports without having to do some bullshit like write a Python script that imports a CSV library.

Other Virgins

  • Databases. Unironically managing relationships. Imagine being this cucked.
  • XLSX. Faggot attention whore that consists of 90% metadata. Spends 15 minutes on styling and looks like shit anyway when imported to any other OS.
  • XLS. Imagine unironically storing data in a proprietary file format.
  • JSON. I hate when ppl store attributes within objects like um no try again sweaty ;)
  • HTML Tables. Fuck you! The only thing <table> elements and their beta cuck buddies <tr> and <td> are good for is making professional looking webpages that load super fast.
  • XML. Don't talk to me or my son ever again.

In Conclusion

Hey you little gayboy, nice delimiters. It's Tshavd from your freshman English class, remember me, dork? I thought I'd pop in after finishing my first 60 rows at the BASH terminal - y'know, that place REAL file formats go to? Anyways, guess you're still escaping special characters like a sissy cuck - AS USUAL. Thought maybe you'd man up after RFC 4180, but now you're wearing double quotation marks for a bunch of dweebs on proprietary operating systems. Have a nice life, dumbass.

Users Who Have Downloaded More RAM:
Hash Brown (3 years ago)
Huevos Rancheros (3 years ago)
yottabyte (3 years ago)
based_and_blackpilled (3 years ago)
🐏 ⨉ 4
Posted by August R. Garcia 3 years ago

Edit History

• [2019-07-07 0:19 PDT] August R. Garcia (3 years ago)
• [2019-07-07 0:19 PDT] August R. Garcia (3 years ago)
• [2019-07-07 0:19 PDT] August R. Garcia (3 years ago)
• [2019-07-07 0:19 PDT] August R. Garcia (3 years ago)
🕓 Posted at 07 July, 2019 00:19 AM PDT

Profile Photo - August R. GarciaAugust R. GarciaLARPing as a Sysadmi...Portland, ORSite Owner

August Garcia is some guy who used to sell Viagra on the Internet. He made this website to LARP as a sysadmin while posting about garbage like user-agent spoofing, spintax, the only good keyboard, virtual assitants from Pakistan, links with the rel="nofollow" attributeproxiessin, the developer console, literally every link building method, and other junk.

Available at arg@256kilobytes.com, via Twitter, or arg.256kilobytes.com. Open to business inquiries based on availability.

Profile Photo - Hash BrownHash BrownInternet ActivistEnglandStaff

10/10 meme once again.

Download more RAM. 🐏 ⨉ 0Posted by Hash Brown 3 years ago 🕓 Posted at 07 July, 2019 17:20 PM PDT


Profile Photo - Defaultbased_and_blackpilled


Users Who Have Downloaded More RAM:
August R. Garcia (3 years ago)
🐏 ⨉ 1
Posted by based_and_blackpilled 3 years ago 🕓 Posted at 17 July, 2019 20:33 PM PDT

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