256 Kilobytes

3 Cold Email Outreach Tips (That You Probably Aren't Doing)

Articles in Internet Marketing | By August R. Garcia

Published | Last Update

Unless you are, in which case, what are you doing here?

686 views, 3 RAMs, and 2 comments

Outreach is so fucking boring that I'd rather put the best cheap handgun in my mouth than do it. Additionally, litterally no one wants to read emails from Harris Harrison asking for nice backlinks to MyNiceVPNLand.com. However, despite this, outreach is still a relevant method of link building, since it can be used to acquire higher quality links than many other link building methods that exist.

Here are some tips to maximize the efficiency and success rate of outreach while making your requests as easy to reply to as possible for recipients.

Video Overview

3 Outreach Tips

When working with a large list of links and sites, particularly those that may be older, one easy way to save time is to screen out sites by checking for dead links on your list. One way to do this is with a tool like URLitor, although these tools often have limits to the number of domains that can be checked at once. One trick (demonstrated in more depth in our guide on how to find guest post leads) that allows for this to be done in larger bulk is to add a custom function to Google Sheets. To do this, go to Tools -> Script Editor, then copy-paste this code in and press Ctrl+S to save the script. Then, run the function in any cell of your spreadsheet by entering =getStatusCode(A1), replacing A1 with a cell reference where a URL is listed.

// https://medium.com/@the.benhawy/how-to-use-google-spreadsheets-to-check-for-broken-links-1bb0b35c8525
// =getStatusCode(A1)
function getStatusCode(url){
   var options = {
     'muteHttpExceptions': true,
     'followRedirects': true // Set to true for the 
   var response = UrlFetchApp.fetch(url, options);
   return response.getResponseCode();

Google Sheets can similarly be used to gather contact emails for addresses.

Include Other Helpful Information

Anyone who has even registered a domain name has gotten eight million email requests for various favors. Your email outreach is not that clever and is obscenely transparent. However, you could at least attempt to look like you care about the person that you're contacting; one way to do this is by including some other information that is actually helpful (for unrelated reasons) when conducting email outreach. One way to do this is to inform the site owner of an unrelated broken link (NOT 404 REPLACEMENT LINK BUILDING). An email along these lines might read something along the lines of:

Subject: Ay, lemme holler at you


Give me a fucking guest post.

Also, it looks like the link to [some fucking bullshit] at [this fucking url] is no longer working. Regardless of whether you're currently open to contributions from guest authors, you might want to check that out or replace it with [this archive.org link] so that users can view the original source.

This can also be done with other arbitrary useful notes, such as pointing out that a site has a broken captcha or form. 

Include Content or Files Upfront (With a Deadline)

If you're been around the Internet marketing scene for a while, you'll know that most webmasters keep a loaded handgun their desk at all times so that if they ever get an email, they can just fucking kill themselves instead of replying to it.

Sir can I fucking come back in like a week with a draft of a guest post?

- Fucking everyone

Anyone who reads this email will assume that your draft would be fucking trash, because it will almost certainly be fucking trash. Why the fuck would anyone reply to that.

Oh yeah, I sure would like to get dragged into a multi-week long saga of exchanging emails with some random asshole so that I can eventually get a probably-unusable 500 word article.

- Literally no one 

Send them literally everything upfront. For a guest post, for example, it can be hepful to not only send a full post draft, but also to include it as both a .docx and HTML file to make sure that it will easily work with the site's post editor. A pitch for a guest post might look like the following:


Here's a quick email about a custom guest post that we are offering as an exclusive piece of content to [business/contact name] for a guest post. The title of the post is '[some bullshit],' which is relevant to your site's niche and audience. Please review and let us know within the next day or two so that we know to reserve this post for you and to avoid publishing it elsewhere.

The URLs below contain the full post draft as both a .docx and HTML source file.
* [Google Drive/Other Link to .docx version]
* [Google Drive/Other Link to HTML version]
If any other file formats or information is needed, let me know!

- Name

Note that this email still prompts the user to reply "please let us know [...] to reserve" and also includes a short deadline. If they give literally a single fuck about your inquiry, they will reply to you. Otherwise, you can move on.

In Conclusion

Overall, outreach is a plauge plague on this earth. However, like AIDS, it can be addressed to some extent through various easy tricks.

Users Who Have Downloaded More RAM:
Hash Brown (1 year ago)
Huevos Rancheros (1 year ago)
RolandGaunt (1 year ago)
🐏 ⨉ 3
Posted by August R. Garcia 1 year ago

Edit History

• [2019-05-29 22:36 PDT] August R. Garcia (1 year ago)
• [2019-05-29 22:36 PDT] August R. Garcia (1 year ago)
• [2019-05-29 22:36 PDT] August R. Garcia (1 year ago)
• [2019-05-29 22:36 PDT] August R. Garcia (1 year ago)
• [2019-05-29 22:36 PDT] August R. Garcia (1 year ago)
🕓 Posted at 29 May, 2019 22:36 PM PDT

Profile Photo - August R. GarciaAugust R. GarciaLARPing as a Sysadmi...Portland, ORSite Owner

August Garcia is some guy who used to sell Viagra on the Internet. He made this website to LARP as a sysadmin while posting about garbage like user-agent spoofing, spintax, the only good keyboard, virtual assitants from Pakistan, links with the rel="nofollow" attributeproxiessin, the developer console, literally every link building method, and other junk.

Available at arg@256kilobytes.com, via Twitter, or arg.256kilobytes.com. Open to business inquiries based on availability.

Profile Photo - mehoffmehoffQuality User

Hey, I want a fucking backlink. Also, you might want to change the word plauge to plague.

Download more RAM. 🐏 ⨉ 0Posted by mehoff 1 year ago 🕓 Posted at 31 May, 2019 09:03 AM PDT
Profile Photo - August R. GarciaAugust R. GarciaLARPing as a Sysadmi...Portland, ORSite Owner

ok ping me on sk ype

Users Who Have Downloaded More RAM:
eeeeeeee (1 year ago)
🐏 ⨉ 1
Posted by August R. Garcia 1 year ago 🕓 Posted at 31 May, 2019 22:30 PM PDT

Sir, I can do you a nice SEO.

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