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The Top 5 Internet Marketing and SEO Scams: Are You Falling for these Tricks?

Articles in Search Engine Optimization | By August R. Garcia

Published 6 months agoFri, 03 May 2019 18:16:09 -0700 | Last update 6 months agoFri, 03 May 2019 18:17:25 -0700

Because SEO and Internet marketing are basically magic and no one knows what they're doing, it's very easy to run scams and other tricks. Here are some of the major ones.

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Because SEO and Internet marketing are basically magic and no one knows what they're doing, it's very easy to run scams. Here are some of the major ones.

Huffington Post Contributor Links

Have you ever gotten an email like the following?

Sir, I can get you a link on top sites like the Huffington Post, HN, BuzzFeed, and so on. You need these NICE links from AUTHORITY SITES to rank your fucking shitty affiliate site for fake Clash of Clans gem hacks. Normally we charge $2,000 for these PREMIUM links, but now we are offering them for only $700. Buy now.

At first you might think that this is fucking bullshit and that this person clearly can’t actually acquire these links. However, they actually can technically sell you these things, generally, but they’re in the fucking opinion section. In contrast to articles that are actually published by these sites, articles and links from these sections are:

  • Not run on the homepage;
  • Seen by fucking no one;
  • Generally completely orphaned from the rest of the site, making the links worthless, since they have no connection to backlinks via the site’s internal link structure; and
  • Often have noindex tags (although these pages can still get indexed if they receive a second tier or links, despite what the Google Webmaster documentation implies).

Don’t fucking buy this garbage. Unless you want to buy this trash so that you can claim that your terrible site was “featured in the Huffington Post,” in which case, pay like $50 max for one of these articles.

Sir, It Will Take 6 Months to See Results

As discussed previously, one of the reasons why people give way too much money to incompetent SEO consultants is because results from SEO can often take a while to take effect. Often, contractors who sell SEO services will state that it will take “up six months” to see results, which results in people wasting substantial amounts of time and/or money before knowing whether their investments will pay off. Fortunately, there’s an easy way to whether this is bullshit: 100% of the time, these contractors are trash. There are roughly 800 ways to monitor and acquire SEO progress within shorter timeframes, such as:

  • Monitoring the number of and positions of keywords ranking in the top 100, even if they’re not getting traffic yet
  • Providing keyword research reports, which are basically immediate steps
  • Providing reports on content created to target those keywords
  • Reports on short-term traffic from SMM (which when done correctly also improves SEO and is therefore SEO)

However, in general, cheap SEO consultants should only be hired for one-off tasks anyway, rather than managing projects.

Everyone is familiar with the classic setup for a freemium plugin:

  • The free version includes the company’s logo + link
  • Paid versions don’t (and probably have other features)

But, what if instead of doing that, you made a plugin to do one of the simplest tasks in the world. Then, within that plugin, include code to add links to your money site. This might be casual footer links, or it could be some advanced bullshit where links with specific anchor texts are injected into the body of articles. While this is probably against the WordPress/other CMS terms of service, people get away with it anyway.

Referring to Everything as “White Hat”

If you go on Upwork et. al., you’ll often find people offering services like:

  • Premium WHITE HAT directory submissions and blog commenting
  • WHITE HAT ONLY techniques for WEB 2.0 CREATION

You might think to yourself, aren’t all of those things blatantly black hat SEO? The answer is yes. These lies are so blatant that they almost become believable, because who in their right mind would lie so blatantly? The answer is SEO consultants.

PhotoShopped SERPBook graphs

There are a few common tools used to monitor search engine traffic data. Most notably:

  • Ahrefs, which crawls search engine results pages to monitor, among other things, what keywords various websites rank for.
  • SERPBook, which can be used to track the position of specific keywords.
  • Google Analytics (and other analytics tools), which monitor the traffic of whatever website they’re installed on.

For SEO consultants, screenshots and other data from these tools is useful for creating convincing testimonials. Of course, if you’re bad at Internet marketing, you can:

  • Blatantly PhotoShop these graphs;
  • Selectively crop out the axes;
  • Show graphs for extremely easy keywords and imply that they are hard; or
  • Whatever other tricks you can think of.

Congratulations. You’re now the best SEO consultant in the world. Wait for free money.

Honorable Mentions

  • “Sir, I can rank you in 48 hours very fast etc.” While it’s possible to see very quick SERP movement from, for example, a post hitting the front page of Reddit or otherwise “going viral,” the guy offering to rank you for “make money online” in 48 hours for $70 is full of shit.
  • “Sir, I used to work for Google and/or know someone on the inside.” I literally know people who work for Google and none of them have provided me with any useful information related to search engine optimization. Most of them probably don’t even work with the Search department.
  • “Sir I can do you a nice SEO, but no report of work for privacy reasons” generally means “I run a shitty PBN.”
  • People spewing these SEO myths
  • EAT and “SEO penalty removal

In Conclusion

SIR. We can rank you in TOP SEARCH ENGINES, such as YANDEX and GOOGLE. 

Download more RAM. 🐏 ⨉ 0 Posted by August R. Garcia 6 months ago

Edit History

• [2019-05-03 18:16 PDT] August R. Garcia (6 months ago)
• [2019-05-03 18:16 PDT] August R. Garcia (6 months ago)
🕓 Posted at 03 May, 2019 18:16 PM PDT

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August Garcia is some guy who used to sell Viagra on the Internet. He made this website to LARP as a sysadmin while posting about garbage like user-agent spoofing, spintax, the only good keyboard, virtual assitants from Pakistan, links with the rel="nofollow" attributeproxiessin, the developer console, literally every link building method, and other junk.

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