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5 SEO Myths You Should Stop Believing

Articles in Search Engine Optimization | By August R. Garcia

Published | Last Update


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As they say in my home country, “SIR I CAN DO YOU A NICE SEO.” However, there are a maximum of six people in my home country who can in fact do you a nice SEO. It’s time to learn about five of the finest SEO myths that you should stop believing.

PageRank is Dead

Up until 2013, it was possible to view PageRank data publicly. This allowed for people to sell shit like “high PR backlinks and social signals $5 only” on various freelancer websites. However, as of 2013, PageRank is not updated publicly. However, despite what your shitty SEO consultant might tell you, PageRank still exists. Look at this fucking chart:

A Nice Image Embedded From imgur.com/

While the data is not accessible publicly, that is still how PageRank works, or at least close to it. You can also read this article, which is of surprisingly high quality, which discusses this in more depth.

Domain Authority (DA) and Page Authority (PA) are Real

As covered in various other threads, DA/PA are largely unreliable. While over the set of millions of websites they are vaguely accurate, when analyzing individual websites, they are:

  • Over-reliant on volume of links, rather than quality of links
  • Are updated very infrequently (although apparently they recently increased the frequency)
  • Are easily manipulated by GSA/xRummer/other automated link blasts, which can easily by webmasters who want to claim that their site is good because it has “DA 41” or whatever

The main reason why DA and PA are so widely used, rather than more reliable metrics like Ahrefs’ UR/DR and Majestic’s TF/CF is because DA and PA can be accessed without paid accounts, so they’re popular among D-tier SEO consultants.

It Takes 3-6 Months to See Results

If you need to make some cocksucking money online, just LARP as an SEO consultant. This is very easy to do regardless of your skill because:

  • Half 90% of the people who are trying to hire SEO consultants don’t know anything about SEO; and
  • SEO can, in many cases, take days, weeks, or months to see results

So you can literally say anything that you want and make money for, like, six months until your client fucks off. Protip: If anyone tells you to wait 3-6 months for results, tell them to fucking kill themselves, screencap your message, and post it in the comments of this thread. That shit is fucking retired. You should be able to see clear trends in terms of more search engine traffic within a month at most, as well as other general reports.

Social Signals are a Thing

Social signals are fucking bullshit and are a side effect of the PageRank algorithm. See Jeb Bush’s extensive breakdown in this quality thread.

Penalties Exist

If I had a dollar every time that someone posted a thread on one of the various SEO forums about how they need to fix their site’s “penalty,” I could buy one of the finest phones under 20,000 Rupees in Dubai. There are two types of “penalties”:

  • Manual penalties, which show up in Google’s Webmaster Tools console; and
  • Algorithmic “penalties,” which are not penalties.

A website’s rankings fluxtuating based on some fucking search engine patch is not a penalty. Anyone who sells “penalty removal” services is probably full of shit.

In Conclusion

That’s the end of this article.

Get the fuck off of my lawn.

Download more RAM. 🐏 ⨉ 0Posted by August R. Garcia 1 year ago

Edit History

• [2019-04-30 11:52 PDT] August R. Garcia (1 year ago)
• [2019-04-30 11:52 PDT] August R. Garcia (1 year ago)
🕓 Posted at 30 April, 2019 11:52 AM PDT

Profile Photo - August R. GarciaAugust R. GarciaLARPing as a Sysadmi...Portland, ORSite Owner

August Garcia is some guy who used to sell Viagra on the Internet. He made this website to LARP as a sysadmin while posting about garbage like user-agent spoofing, spintax, the only good keyboard, virtual assitants from Pakistan, links with the rel="nofollow" attributeproxiessin, the developer console, literally every link building method, and other junk.

Available at arg@256kilobytes.com, via Twitter, or arg.256kilobytes.com. Open to business inquiries based on availability.

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